Forwards

Forwards are things that about five years ago I had no idea what they were except the opposite of reverse.
I get all kinds of forwards, good and bad. Some are religious, some are for good luck, some are warning you of bad things that could happen to you if you don’t forward it on to a dozen other people. This year is the first year I have gotten Halloween ones that scare me to death! I absolutely love Maxeen, the sarcastic cartoon character. She slays me and almost always makes me laugh probably because she says what I think nine times out of ten. I have a friend in South Dakota that sends me a lot of government ones and military ones. Those often make me stop and think. I have a friend in Texas that frequently sends those that are beautiful to look at and listen to. But the one I got this afternoon was one of the most precious that I have ever gotten. I guess I think it was Art Linkletter, “Kids say the darndest things” type style and memorable because it gave me mental images from the past especially #1. The title of it is very simple; Grandparents. Hope you enjoy even if you are not a grandparent you will see the simple enjoyment of eight year olds and their grandparents. Thanks, Kiddo.

She was in the bathroom, putting on her
> > makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter,
> > as she'd done many times before. After she applied her
> > lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, 'But
> > Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper
> > good-bye!' I will probably never put lipstick on
> > again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper
> > good-bye...
> >
> >
> >
> > 2. My young grandson called the other day to
> > wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and
> > I told him, '62..' He was quiet for a moment,
> > and then he asked, 'Did you start at
> > 1?'
> >
> >
> >
> > 3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a
> > grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and
> > proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children
> > getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew
> > thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and
> > stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern
> > warnings. As she left the room, she heard the
> > three-year-old say with a trembling voice, 'Who was
> > THAT?'
> >
> >
> >
> > 4. A grandmother was telling her little
> > granddaughter what her own childhood was like: 'We used
> > to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire;
> > it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our
> > pony. We picked wild raspberries in the
> > woods.' The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this
> > all in. At last she said, 'I sure wish I'd
> > gotten to know you sooner!'
> >
> >
> >
> > 5. My grandson was visiting one day when he
> > asked, 'Grandma, do you know how you and God are
> > alike?' I mentally polished my halo and I said,
> > 'No, how are we alike?'' You're both
> > old,' he replied.
> >
> >
> >
> > 6. A little girl was diligently pounding away
> > on her grandfather's word processor. She told him
> > she was writing a story. 'What's it
> > about?' he asked. 'I don't know,' she
> > replied. 'I can't read.
> >
> >
> >
> > 7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had
> > learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I
> > would point out something and ask what color it was.
> > She would tell me and was always correct.. It was fun
> > for me, so I continued.. At last she headed for the
> > door, saying, 'Grandma, I think you should try to figure
> > out some of these yourself!'
> >
> >
> >
> > 8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our
> > vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside
> > to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few
> > fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did,
> > Billy whispered, 'It's no use Grandpa. Now the
> > mosquitoes are coming after us with
> > flashlights.'
> >
> >
> >
> > 9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I
> > teasingly replied, 'I'm not sure.'
> > 'Look in your underwear, Grandpa,' he
> > advised.. 'Mine says I'm four to
> > six.'
> >
> >
> >
> > 10. A second grader came home from school and
> > said to her grandmother, 'Grandma, guess what? We
> > learned how to make babies today.' The
> > grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her
> > cool. 'That's interesting,' she said, 'how
> > do you make babies? ''It's simple,' replied
> > the girl. 'You just change 'y' to 'I and add
> > 'es'.'
> >
> >
> >
> > 11. Children's Logic: 'Give me a
> > sentence about a public servant,' said a teacher.
> > The small boy wrote: 'The fireman came down the ladder
> > pregnant.' The teacher took the lad aside to
> > correct him. 'Don't you know what pregnant
> > means?' she asked.. 'Sure,' said the young
> > boy confidently. 'It means carrying a
> > child.'
> >
> >
> >
> > 12. A nursery school teacher was delivering a
> > station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck
> > zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the truck
> > was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing
> > the dog's duties. 'They use him to keep crowds
> > back,' said one child. 'No,' said another,
> > 'He's just for good luck.' A third child
> > brought the argument to a close. 'They use the
> > dogs,' she said firmly, 'to find the fire
> > hydrants.'
> >
> >
> >
> > WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?
> > (Taken from papers written by a class of
> > 8-year-olds)
> >
> >
> >
> > Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no
> > little children of their own. They like other people's..
> > A grandfather is a man and a grandmother is a
> > lady!
> >
> >
> >
> > Grandparents don't have to do anything
> > except be there when we come to see them. They are so
> > old they shouldn't play hard or run. It is good if
> > they drive us to the shops and give us money. When
> > they take us for walks, they slow down past things like
> > pretty leaves and caterpillars. They show us and talk to us
> > about the colors of the flowers and also why we
> > shouldn't step on cracks and don't
> > say, 'Hurry up.'
> >
> >
> >
> > Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to
> > tie your shoes. They wear glasses and funny underwear.
> > They can take their teeth and gums out.
> >
> >
> >
> > Grandparents don't have to be smart.
> > They have to answer questions like 'Why isn't God
> > married?' and 'How come dogs chase cats?'
> > When they read to us, they don't skip. They
> > don't mind if we ask for the same story over
> > again.
> >
> >
> >
> > Everybody should try to have a grandmother,
> > especially if you don't have television because they are
> > the only grownups who like to spend time with
> > us.
> >
> >
> >
> > They know we should have snack time before bed
> > time, and they say prayers with us and kiss us even when
> > we've acted bad.
> >
> >
> >
> > A 6-YEAR-OLD WAS ASKED WHERE HIS GRANDMA LIVED.
> > ''OH,'' HE SAID, ''SHE LIVES AT THE
> > AIRPORT, AND WHEN WE WANT HER, WE JUST GO GET HER. THEN WHEN
> > WE'RE DONE HAVING HER VISIT, WE TAKE HER BACK TO THE
> > AIRPORT.''
> >
> >
> >
> > GRANDPA IS THE SMARTEST MAN ON EARTH! HE
> > TEACHES ME GOOD THINGS, BUT I DON'T GET TO SEE HIM
> > ENOUGH TO GET AS SMART AS HIM!
> >
> >
> >
> > > > It's funny when they bend over; you hear
gas noises and they blame their dog.
> >
> >
> >
> > Send this to other grandparents, almost
> > grandparents, or heck, send it to everyone. It will make
> > their day.

This forward said that it was copywrited I am not sure, but it said to send it to everyone and that is what I am doing and it will make your day.