Romance in 1897

When I was about thirteen or fourteen I would visit my grandparents. They had a window with a window seat attached in the dining room. On each side of the window sat a rocking chair; one for my grandpa and one for my grandma. It overlooked a park and the highway and if you craned your neck a little you could almost see my house.
When I got close, which was seldom, the smell of geraniums burned my nose. Grandma always had at least four or five geranium plants on her window seat.
These private visits with my Grandma were very special to me. She treated me like an almost grown up and told me little secrets.
One day when I visited her, I asked her how she met my grandpa. As she talked I could just see how pretty she must have been and how handsome he was. This is how the story went.
My grandpa’s dad owned a grocery store and had a reasonable amount of money. My grandpa delivered groceries to my grandmother’s parents’ house. That is how they met. Simple? No, that “no dating- type courtship” lasted for over a year before he asked her to marry him. They got teased a little. Townspeople said that the delivery boy didn’t stay at their house nearly as long as he stayed at the Hayes’ house.
She told me that she had not even held his hand before they got married. On the day she married him, she sat on his lap for the very first time.
My mother kind of pieced in more information for my inquisitive mind. She said that my grandmother’s waist was so tiny that my grandfather could put his hands around her waist and touch his fingers together.
Her wedding dress was made in two pieces. The bodice was called a shirt waist. It was all hand made and the waist was the size of a man’s collar on a shirt. The front was full of tiny tucks and decorated with tiny seed pearls, all hand sewn on the bodice and the skirt. The sleeves had yards of hand sewn embroidery on them that tucked into the cap of the sleeve.
They were married at my grandma’s parents’ house and had about fifty people at the ceremony. There was a dinner served afterwards. The guests and the bride and groom played games after the dinner. At this point I am going to type in the newspaper article that was written about the wedding. The enthusiastic reporter should be commended and would be thrilled, I am sure that over a hundred years later, her social reporting is being reissued.
“Married, in this city at the home of the bride’s parents, Mr. and Mrs. Nathan H. Hayes, on Thursday evening, Feb. 25, 1897, Mr. George Dwight Banister and Miss Lulu E. Hayes, Rev. C.J. Hunt officiating. Mr. Chas. A. Banister, brother of the groom was groomsman and Miss Etta L. Fox, bridesmaid. The bride was richly dressed in priestly goods. The spacious parlors were copiously decorated for the occasion. Mrs. John Hogan played the wedding march. About fifty relatives and friends witnessed the ceremony. After the sumptuous supper was served, the evening was spent in games and other amusements. The presents were numerous and valuable. The groom is a stirring, trusted, affable young man of whom Cherokee feels justly proud. He is a son of Mr. G. W. Banister, a leading merchant, of this city. The bride is a charming young woman, amiable, affectionate and accomplished. A host of friends join the DEMOCRAT in wishing this worthy couple a long and prosperous journey in life.”
My great grandfather gave them ten thousand dollars for a wedding present. My grandma’s parents gave them a farm and china and silverware. These days the price of those gifts would be several hundred thousand dollars.
My great grandfather lived in a huge house in Cherokee, Iowa. It had an open stairway that went up to the third floor to the maid’s quarters. The back stairway was used by the staff. He not only owned the grocery store, but he also was a judge.
The romance between my grandparents was never seen. In fact just the opposite. They actually appeared not to like each other. I saw my parents hold hands, kiss and hug. That never was seen at my grandparents’ home . They didn’t even laugh. For that matter I never saw them smile at each other. I saw my grandfather swing his cane at my grandmother one day when I was visiting them. I went home and told my mother about it. I was really angry. She was upset too, especially since my grandma was very unsteady on her feet.
Romance or no romance they were married for sixty seven years.
They lived with us when I was a teenager. We all gave up our bedrooms so they could be taken care of in our home. When my mother told my grandpa that my grandma had died, even though he was very confused, he looked at mom and said, “ she was a good lady.” Romance? Maybe so in their own way. Love definitely.